Complaining

Thoughts and words coming from my mouth lately.

"I'm sick of looking like I got punched in the face!"

"I'm sick of feeling like shit!"

"I'm SO TIRED ALL OF THE TIME"
 
"I want to be able to DO EVERYTHING and have energy!"

"WHEN is this going to end?"

"I miss the days when I didn't have this problem/I was indestructable! (or so I thought)"

I said to Bo, I don't remember my godmother, when she was suffering for years from cancer until she passed...complain....

He said your grandmother never did either.

OK FINE. I AM NOT A SAINT LIKE THEM AND I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING LIFE.

I think it didn't help that my doctor said we might be able to do less shots in 6 months. It sounded so promising. I think I'm going to see her sooner than in a month though, to help my complaining. She will probably do what everyone else says to do and tells me to see a therapist.

I AM WAITING ON MY DEDUCTIBLE TO BE MET PEOPLE. I WILL SEE MARNA SOON I FREAKING PROMISE.

Anyways. I am just having one of those weeks where I just don't want to even be getting out of bed anymore. I am so tired of all of this sometimes. And yes I am sharing this in a blog because this is what part of this journey is. Its good for me to write it down and its good for people in and out of my life to see how imperfect I am. 

Thats all for now.


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